[IF] Hatching Plans, Evading Bans

[Space Raton]

[This is an Interactive Fiction. Be creative in your contributions!]

"Mehehehehe..." laughed Dr. Kazooie as she surveyed the huge piles of money lining the walls of her laboratory. "Ever since I ditched 'Bran-jo' and became an evil doctor instead, I've been raking in the cash..." She glanced at a newspaper on top of the piles of money, in which newspaper she had recently put an advert for evil assistants to further her schemes. "I'm sure some minions will show up soon.... now to decide the next steps of my plan."
She went over to her most evil apparatus, the Evil Egg Machine. Dr. Kazooie lifted a wing to prepare to activate the device, but then heard the approaching sound of footsteps in the hallway. "Who could that be at this hour?"
Soon a familiar figure entered the room, another noble hero come to join the evilness...

 

[Soap]

"Thanks for the lift, guys," the bat said, as the two skeletons with yellow taxi cab hats carried the bone throne back the way they came. The bat flew into the room and the automatic doors slid shut.

"And you are?" asked Dr. Kazooie, looking up from the Evil Egg Machine, already with a look of slight disappointment.

"Hey, how you doin'? The name's Bat from Castlevania, but people always call me BFC for short. I'm here about the want ad in the paper. You hirin'? Some nutjob with a spatula put my old boss six feet under and put me out of a job."

Dr. Kazooie decided to make the best of things for now until the real candidates started showing up. "Alright, bug breath. What can you do?"

BFC did some wing flapping motions and glanced at his wings, then back at Dr. Kazooie, as if to remind that he's capable of flight. "Well, I fly into folks. Conk 'em right on the head. POW! Never knew what hit 'em. You wouldn't believe how many stupid vampire hunters have fallen for that. Gets 'em every time."

Dr. Kazooie continued the finger-tapping-like motion with her wings for a few more seconds, then stopped. "Sounds annoying. You're hired! Just come over here and sign this Pledge of Evil."

BFC flew over and, through great effort, signed the pledge with a pen in his tiny bat hand. "Yeah, alright! You need evil, I'm your man. Name a ceiling and I'm there!"

As the two responded to the news in their own special ways, the automatic doors slid open...

 

[Postage]

The winged duo stared at the open door for what seemed like weeks. An awkward silence filled the laboratory.

"Bah! This stupid door is playing up again. Those clowns told me it was fixed for good this time. Fixed, my brown eye!". Dr. Kazooie hopped down from her desk, flapped over to the door and began pecking at the keypad to no avail.

BFC glanced around the lab, from the huge piles of unsigned Pledges of Evil, the huge piles of money, and finally to the big imposing machine with "EVIL EGG$" written on it. "Err, how about you tell me how this machine works, Dr. K?".

"Fine!" the bird stopped her pecking and waddled over. "I call it the Evil Egg Machine, or EEM for short. It works by..." A long detailed description followed, which BFC struggled to follow, but basically understood that all eggs in the world contained a small innate evilness. By using this machine, this evil could be amplified. No need to train an army of evil minions, with the EEM any creature big or small could be ready to do evil deeds as soon as they hatched. Dr. Kazooie had so much money from selling this idea to final bosses around the globe.

"Now for a demonstration." Dr. Kazooie took a fresh egg out of a sealed package, put it into the EEM and flipped the switch. The machine roared to life. The room shook, the lights flickered. Out of the machine came an egg containing one of the most evil things you could imagine. The egg began to hatch...